Tuesday, April 06, 2010

THREE WISE GUYS

'Look, I don't care what you say, but he doesn't know his ass from his elbow'.
'If you say so, but I think he is smarter than he is letting himself on to be'.
'We can talk like this all day and say what we like but it's not going to change anything'.
'So, what we do now'.
'I'm thinking, give me time on it ... but we have to find him'.
'Take all the time you need, in the mean time are you going to eat that sandwich, that is, not to let it go to waste, that is .... if you don't mind like, that is .... please'.
'I'm sick of this playing God game, the God with the big 'G' game, where is He now in all of this mess' ?
'I can't answer that, He doesn't tell me what His plans are'.
'That's it, make a joke of it all, a wise guy, that's all we need around here now, another wise guy'.
'Look why don't we wait till he comes back'.
'Who ..... God with the big 'G'' game plan'.
'Maybe, now who's the wise guy' ?
'What did I do to deserve this' ?
'I can't answer that either'.
'Look Mr, this is not a jocking matter, we need him back here, I'm not doing this on my own, I can't, I just can't'.
'O.K. keep your crown on ......When was he here last' ?
'No idea, the last thing I heard was the door closing'.
'Well that's it then, he is not coming back'.
'What's make you say that' ?
'Just a feeling ..... just a feeling'.
'Well I hope you and your 'feeling' is wrong, because I can't do this, I don't have the stomach for it'.
'But you were able to eat'.
'Look, any more smart remarks from you and there's no telling what I will do'.
'Touchieeee'. '
'I told you, no more wise cracks. I won't tell you again'.
'O.K. ..... promise .......... touchieeee'. 
And the door opened. He was back ..
'Where the hell were you' ?
'Outside'
'I can see that .... why' ?
'To look for the camels'.
'Another wise guy. that's it I've had it with you two'.
'If you wanted a smoke I still have a pack here, you could have one of mine'.
''Thanks but no thanks ... I am done with smoking ... for today that is ... maybe I should try to give up, what do you think, do you think I should give it up, or is it too late ... you know ... late ... no, never to late, what'.
'Give up what' ?
'Smoking ... Camels, you know, Camels'.
'Will you two shout up, you are driving me stir-crazy'.
'So, tell me, did you see any' ?
'Any what' ?
'Camels'
'No'
'That's disappointing. In a way I was hoping you might have'.
'Yea .... me too'.
'If you two don't give it over I will not be held responsible for the actions that I might take here today'.
'What's up with him' ?
'I don't know ..... he's been like that since you went missing, sorrieeee, looking for camels. Maybe you should have told him you were going outside to look for camels'.
'Didn't think ..... anyway why should I, it would only upset him all the more and you know how he gets when he is upset, it will be like 'total recall' to the old ways'.
'Good and bad ... yea, sometimes I want a 'recall'.
'Here, no charge to you my friend ... just dial this number, it's recall ... I do it all the time .... redial recall ... don't tell .... tell-a-phone ... get it'.
'Anyway, he is not the same. He has changed ... you know, since last night and look at that look in his eyes'.
'Yea .... and moody too ... but don't remind me, and don't remind him ... I didn't want to hear about it all over again and him doing his fair share of ranting again and again about it'.
'What are you two whispering about ..... you don't think I don't know you are talking about me and the other night'
'It was last night .... it was last night, have you lost it'.
'Funny very funny ..... it's still there, that 'STAR' .....I am looking at it right now'.
'We know it's still there ..... we can see it from here too'.
'So .... what are we going to do about it' ?
'I told you I was thinking about it'.
'Well I did my part ... I went looking for camels .... now that I remember I did see tracks'.
'Well well, what have we got here .... a bleeding tracker now, or were they railway tracks you saw ..... what, come on, be certain about this, what do you mean tracks' ?
'Tracks, like tracks on the ground ... I don't know, what other tracks are there'.
'That's what we are trying to find out, dummy'.
'I strongly take offence to you calling me dummy'.
'Fine take offence, I'm giving it out free today, no charge'.
'Will you two stop this fine conversation you are having and let's get back to the business in hand. OK now, again, do you think they might be camel tracks' ?
Don't know like'.
'No, you have to be sure about this'.
'I told you, I don't know'.
'Did it look like a camels foot .... or is the word, hoof ..... foot or hoof ... hoof or foot ... hoof foot ... foothoof ....foot-the-hoof'.
'Stop it, stop it .. they were tracks, that I know and could be camels for all I know, I'm no expert'.
'O.K. take it easy, keep your hair on'.
'Are you getting it up for me ..... can't you see I am bald'.
'O yea, sorry'.
'A bold camel rider .... giddy up'.
'What'.
'Nothing'.
'I am not going to tell you two again, give it over'.
'Give what over. It's not me that has the camels'.
'Funny man again, are we ? ... we have a situation here'.
'You are telling me we have a situation'.
'Yea ... that's what I said, we have a situation'.
'Right, so we have a situation ... now what' ?
'Hey, do you guys smell anything funny'.
'It wasn't me'.
'No not that kind of smell, do you not smell camel'.
'What do you know how a camel smells like, the only camel smell you know is in that pack'.
'My head is buzzing. This is all too much for me. I can't keep track of it all.
'Don't you start that again'.
'We have to get a hold of ourselves. Find the camels and take it from there'.
'Take what from there' ?
'Don't you start'.
'Sounds good, the bit about getting a hold on ourselves .... always wanted to ride on a camel, mind you'.
'Me too'.
'Do you remember that song two little boys, now how does it go again .. clime up here and ....'
'I am not going to tell you two again, give it over, now this is the plan ... we will go outside and look for the camels, all three of us ... together... and that STAR'.
'O.K. but one problem, how are we going to get outside ... they will not let us out, or do you think they will open the door for us and help us to look for the camels ... I do hope so. I really want to ride on a camel. Oh I so much want to ride on a camel ... it will make my day'.
'He was outside'.
'Yes but only for a pee'.
'But you said you saw tracks'.
'I did ... now I know I did ... I remember, it's all coming back to me now, just needed some time to remember. I know I did see tracks ... but camel, I don't know'.
'Too much. This is all too much to take. I am going out of my little mind if I am not there all ready'.
'You see, we can go out, if he can do it so can I'.
'Me too'.

''O.K. you wise guys, look alive, time for your medication and please ... please, don't give me any more talk about camels and a 'bleeding star' winking at you, I don't have time for this today and for your further information I am off on holiday tomorrow, the next two weeks in Egypt, sand sun and camels ... away from this place, but I will say 'hello' for you to all the camels and stars that I will see ... nowww ..... who's your friend then.
You will all feel better after your medication, trust me.
Have a nice day you guys and be good while I'm away. Anyone doing camel rides around here for the next couple of weeks will be me ....... me on a camel ... imagine that''.

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10 comments:

EmMeLiNe said...

Good story and write up on the 3 wise guys...good story flow and i can imagine the conversation thru out.. :) keep it out!

DAF said...

Thanks .... I will try .....

David Brophy said...

DAF THIS REMINDS ME OF THE GOONES ON RADIO. IT USED TO BLOW TV OUT THE WINDOW AND THE COB WEBS FROM OUR MIND RE EGNITING THAT WONDERFULL NATURAL ABILITY....EMAGINATION.KEEP THE FAITH MATE.

DAF said...

Thank you ... I enjoyed writing this piece .. but staying up on the camel was the problem .....

Magoo's Orangutang Center said...

Daf:

A walk through the non functional hidden part of the brain that come to the forefront to those lucky enough to experience it but not to succumb. Those that do join the ranks of the brilliant savants or the wandering dreamers (aren't they the same?) who have risen of fallen into this abyss
at the discretion of those who can't or won't experience the inner forces yearning to break free.

Good show!

Tom

DAF said...

Tom .. Thank you for your comment. You put me in a 'blind spot'[Magoo]here but will continue to wander till life's end in 'never never land' for I am guilty of being a dreammer. May the forces be with you too.

Henrick said...

somehow i would love to hear it out loud...

DAF said...

Thanks for your comment Henrick .. belive it or not I wrote the script with the stage in mind. On the stege it would have more of an impact ... maybe we should do it?

Colin said...

Brings an old tale right up to date and makes it seem real in the here and now.

DAF said...

Thanks for that Colin, but I lost the other two 'wise guys' ....